The teacher inservice training schedule
From: Mr Funny Bone International <funnybone@lineone.net>
Subject: Teacher Inservice Training Schedule (T.I.T.S.)
Date: 23 June 1999 10:11
TO: ALL TEACHERS
FROM: OFFICE OF THE SUPERINTENDENT
RE: TEACHER INSERVICE TRAINING SCHEDULE (T.I.T.S.)
In accordance with recent changes in the State Education Law, our district is now required to supply bigger and better T.I.T.S. for each employee.
We are therefore pleased to announce the implementation of the Special High Intensity Training program (S.H.I.T.). It is our intention to give each member of the teaching staff as much S.H.I.T. as possible.
Advancement, salary increases and job changes will be dependent on the amount of S.H.I.T. you have taken.
Employees who feel they have taken as much S.H.I.T. as they can, may apply to the SCHOOL COUNCIL for REVIEW of EDUCATIONAL WELFARE (S.C.R.E.W.). All employees are expected to be S.C.R.E.W.E.D. at least once annually.
If you have taken enough S.H.I.T and have been S.C.R.E.W.E.D. within the present academic year, you will be eligible to received a Self Help Award For Teachers (S.H.A.F.T.). Any employee who has been given the S.H.A.F.T. will not be expected to take as much S.H.I.T. the next year.
The only exception to this regulation are those teachers who have Bilingual Activities in Language, Literature and Science (B.A.L.L.S.). Teachers with enough B.A.L.L.S. may avoid being S.C.R.E.W.E.D. annually. Teachers in this category are eligible for courses offered by the Boston University of Local Languages (B.U.L.L.) program. Approval for B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. courses must be obtained from the Superintendents' office of business (S.O.B.). Only the S.O.B. can determine how much S.H.I.T. an employee must take before being S.C.R.E.W.E.D.
Those teachers who have taken enough S.H.I.T. courses, have been S.C.R.E.W.E.D. and given S.H.A.F.T. are eligible for the Regional Education Department Advanced Service Scheme.
a R.E.D.- A.S.S. will be considered for administrative positions and entitled to give more S.H.I.T. than they take.
Sympathetically yours,
The Superintendent of Schools